Why am I lonely? (stepping out of “line”)

Well you might think so, and the fact that almost everyone I know, knows that after work I go home alone, straight to bed alone, do shopping on my own, taking care of children still on my own(alone). Nobody should be alone especial during holiday, you got to have people around to share with , Well I have my sisters who have their own life, and my children who have limited time for me because school, when they back from school ,it will be home work or playing games on their phones.

But here is the thing, I am not lonely at all , I might be alone, but not lonely( I can hear Pink ‘s song ” doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone” ) nice song I must say. By choice of course, People can be nasty if you don’t have a man if your life, there are so many things that have been said to me , like ” you so beautiful, you would have been a good wife , what happened?” or as nasty and evil as ‘ she’s sleeps around that why she doesn’t have a man” I am one of those women who won’t settle for less , and unfortunately that sound like a curse to the way society.

I’ve never been that ” kind of woman” so to speak . I decided that I won’t have a man that will decide to be mean and be disgusted by me , I won’t be in a relationship where I would still be lonely and anyway, I didn’t wanted a man that I would be sitting alone at home and wonder where he was , won’t have a man who will constantly lie to me, don’t respect me. I certainly don’t condone cheating, I’ve heard so many times that cheating is one of the recipe to keep a relationship stronger🙄.

I am a good person and I had to take a step back, back when I was growing up , I knew exactly what I wanted , But I had forgotten about it and fell for what I thought at the time love. I wouldn’t say wrong man but I cross path with men that were not sent by God for me, I don’t even hate my exes, whatever wrong they did to me, it could be because we were wrong for each other. I understand we were where we were not suppose to be at the time and we thought we in love. or that’s what I thought.

I believe one the reason of any kind of abuse in a relationship would be because we are with people with not suppose to be , the lust that covers our hearts make us think we in love. Now you get a man/woman who gives you the kind of love that you don’t need.

The word love on its own has certain value, it is also an opposite of hate , we know love has everything to do with God and hate everything to do with the opposition , so even if your partner is God sent but if you don’t constantly pray to God it’s not going to work.

I love love , I decided to wait for God to give me the partner that we really are for each other , am I gonna wait for a long time for this person, perhaps yes but it better this way, I am a good person and I am getting what is good. The bible scriptures explain clearly what marriage and love is ,

cast a stone

Hurting each other is what we know the best, perhaps it make us feel good about ourselves , or help us to sleep at night, As people we hurt ourselves in a most horrible way. Knowledge is power, not understanding certain situations or certain way of living lead to bad judgement, some bad judgement has been even fatal,

Lets see, LGTB community, I often hear people trashing gay/ lesbian.’ what does this people think they are?’ (not who) . they go as far as throwing the name God , HE did not created this kind , we pick all kinds of script in the bible to support out statement, because at that certain moment the scripture suits us, wait … the scripture also says ‘ don’t judge or you too will be judge no one remembers that. It gets ugly sometime that we would n’t want to be in the same room as this part of community, some parents can not accept that their child as gay/lesbian. we cast a stone to this part of community because we are holier than thou.

As much as the LGTB community are ‘sinning’ . How about the cheaters, lets pick the scripture again in the bible ‘thou shalt not cheat’, what are we really saying . cast a stone to them cheaters because they too are going against the scripture. We have seen friends getting jealous of another’s beauty/success and to quinch our jealous we than tell lies about our friend to diminish them or make them look bad and completely destroy their lives.

Racism and tribalism affect most people if not all in our communities, this is influenced by the hate of another, ‘thou shall not hate’ by the existence maybe racist or ‘tribalist’ should cast a stone because according to them what they doing is holy its not sinning.

How about cast a stone to men that has been abusing their partners with all kind of abuse. to all fathers who are just never there for any kind of support that a child need from a parent, including the mothers who puts their boyfriends first before their children.

Cast a stone to all the prisoner because every thing that put them in jail is a sin. If there was immediate punishment for all the wrong we done to each other, all the hate, than no humans will be left in this planet earth.

Now how about we cast no stone to no one, because if we sum up all of the above with love, its is after all the word the was used in the scriptures , if we love we will not judge, if we love we will not cheat, if we love there will be no lies, with love there will be no racism or tribalism.

Can we just let love live already, so we all be happy in our different ‘spiecies’.

sharing with society

Well, with everything that is happening in the society or among us . I feel like that there is a need to share our different experience with certain issues that affect us on daily basis perhaps with that we can be able to help each other on how to deal with those issues, unlike dealing with them alone which might still cause us lot of stress, maybe even depress or just respond to the issues wrongly…….

That is what we will be sharing on my next post…..

Step out of line

Love, we all love love…. or is it, if we even know what love is or how is love suppose to feel. maybe what is love got to do with anything? Yes we all heard love conquers all, even the bible insist more on love.

Yes our brothers and sister have fallen in love with each other hoping for everlasting love ,Pheew!!! here we go.. things changes as quick as lightning…its so late 2 am the brother is not back in the house ,he’s out with friends ALL NIGHT the sister is all alone like a good wife she expected to be ,she should be fine with it I mean he is the “man” my girl all man are like that. As long as he comes back home to you that’s all that matters.

What are you complaining about he supports you financial, the fancy car, nice big house , the kids to expensive schools, he does absolute everything for you, besides why would he stay home with you the whole time when there young beautiful honey from work just for drink after work, she doesn’t have flabby tummy or wears too much make up or too much cellulite. H’es actually disgusted with her all of a sudden, she’s not good enough anymore. Sometimes it get physical because she’s asking too many questions, his whereabouts, ‘don’t you love me anymore’ now beats her for always ‘winning’ and questions ..

When she tells someone or family she would be told to be patient where would she finds a man who doesn’t cheat, a man who is holding high position in a big firm, an educated man who goes to church, from well known good family. so she should persevere like all other women who have been bitten up by their men and just be quiet and act like a good woman that you suppose to be, you are a woman you should respect that brother regardless, you are the reason he is beating you.

Shame, Women. who cares if she’s an executive of a big company, or is financially stable, or she also has fancy car, she can afford to buy herself a big car, well educated, beautiful, have a good heart, WHO CARES, she is a woman she should listen to her boyfriend/husband , she’s not allowed to stand up for herself if she does she will be called by names even by other women will have something negative to say ,

If a woman stand her ground this would be said, “that’s why her boyfriend/husband beats her up”, or” that’s why he speaks to her like that”,if she’s divorced it will be” that’s why her husband divorced her”, if she’s not married it will be that’s why she doesn’t have a man”. There is always something nasty that has to be said about that wife or girlfriend’s behavior.

Now here is the thing while that boyfriend/husband making himself famous around to the receptionist from work,debtors clerk from accounts or catching up with an old flame ,he’s not just collecting fame but illnesses too, the faithful wife/girlfriend is infected with an STi for being good person ,she can get killed if she tries to live him for this or any other reason if he doesn’t want her too, we’ve seen and heard the abuse that gets very ugly our sisters gets killed brutally, got terminal illnesses while we all watching, all we can say is what was she thinking ,’she thought she was the wise one , or too beautiful or educated , or even her money can’t save her ,the man will show you’ (while laughing behind her back) . but its actually bigger than that, its dangerous than that. no one cares. but its up to you individually to step out of line, and value yourself, know your worth, you don’t deserve that, when i say step out of line am not saying look for a fling to fill the void , no no no, some ladies will solve the problem by finding a Concubine, side dish someone who will pay attention to you’ even though she still love that abusive husband/boyfriend , I heard that’s build your relationship stronger if you cheat too , find someone who will make you happy financially if your man is kinda broke you still love too, if he has money and you love him too but doesn’t give the happiness you need, step out of line and find that “happiness”. Yes he spent more time with his peeps and comes back very late but you love him so much , step out of line go out too with someone who enjoys your company you will be back home soon before he’s back.

No, that’s not stepping out of line, yes we have made all of this a norm, you don’t want to step out of line because it will get better, everyone is doing it , it our reality ..our norm. its been happening since the old days. It is what it is…right………

My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Workplace – hard earned money

When people see you every time going to work, looking good, perhaps driving a nice car, wearing nice, shaking that booty, taking kids to good schools, and just managing your life very well. This is what is called”hard earned money”. And it’s a good thing, every month end, there you are to the bank getting your good hard earned money.

There I was, at the mall, at one of the biggest retail in the country(Boutique) am standing in the queue waiting to pay for the staff that I had in my hand. And it was now my turn, this woman( a cashier) pregnant,and was very or looked very tired, so uncomfortable, and trying to lean on the till. Shes’s been standing the whole time. I asked her before she help me can she grab a chair so she can sit, and she said there is no chair and I was surprise because normally will cashiers sitting now that she really needed a chair, and there is no chair, I asked her if she can go fetch something to sit at the back I know there must be something or a bucket I told her I will wait , that’s when she actually told me that there not allowed to sit.

She was treated like: ‘why are you pregnant? or ‘who told you to get pregnant?’ ‘you should have thought about this before you have sex without protection’. My goodness!! than right there came another lady who was said to be a supervisor, who really didn’t feel anything with what was happening . Judging by their conversation as she was saying she’s taking maternity live soon, and she will block her colleagues in her phone, this was horrible as I wasn’t expecting such behavior from this store, the reason I’m shopping there its because I was thinking it’s the one of the company which respect people. But was also thinking it could be bad management, perhaps have nothing to do with bosses and they nor there,

I’ve been pregnant and working but fortunately for me everyone there was just so good to me, I was actually traumatize by what I saw in there. This woman should have been allowed to have a chair.

This is one of the abuse we experience in work places we toughen up(except of course if you pregnant) because nothing come easy in this world. we are being shown at work that you will get your money provided you sweat blood first. Some of us we are very dedicated and do our job well, putting everything for the good result at the end of the shift as we expected, put in extra hours for job to be finish .

How can we help?(do you need help?)

This is the question I ask myself always when I see someone being hurt whether physically or just emotionally, mostly in workplaces( our bosses or colleagues) or in a relationship, men and women. although I see it more in women. Could be because men don’t talk because they think it’s embarrassing or something. As for me seeing someone suffering like that really kills me, especially if there is nothing I can’t do about it.

So can I just sit here and watch while someone is hurting,…. yes I can .I can because you will be afraid it will be said you busy with other people’s business, you jealous, judgmental, or messy person. This can actually be referred to you as in you are the one who is unhappy. I f I was to be in the same situation will accept the help I want to offer other people,…. I am not really sure.

I feel your pain, It sadden me that you allowing yourself to be in such messy situation. I understand you afraid to live that toxic relationship even though you are hurting. Me, I just want you to live, live and take over your life. You can not allow yourself to be miserable for the rest of your life, for what ? for people who are happy where they are , because you afraid what they will say if you left, Being patient is one thing , but dying inside is just horrible for anyone.

Let us help you so you can help yourself. The world can be a beautiful place to be if you want and allow people cautiously to help you when you need one. You have your sisters, brothers. parent(s) and friends but most of all you have God, He will never let anyone snatch you from His hands. but you can only get this help if you admit to need one and allow people help,

That’s you in the mirror

As people we choose how we want to live our lives, and yes it does work sometimes and sometimes things don’t go as planned or as we dream our life to be. Than we lose focus and become miserable and wants everyone around to experience the same misery. When good thing happen to us or as we succeed in life we just don’t want that to happen to other people, its just has to be you only who is educated, got good job that pays well, wife/husband , children just about everything good for you.

it is good to see people for what they really are than for what we want them or assume them to be. But than it’s crazy when the person is always up to “mischievous” than the same person will want or thing everybody else is doing the same, How can one assume that other people are sleeping around when you are the one who is in a relationship/married but still screwing most men you meet. People’s assumptions about other people are mostly wrong, Look in the mirror and yes it is you you see there nobody else.

Let’s take a look in the mirror , yes that insecure person beautiful you see in the mirror is you, the person who is just sitting in their comfortable desk while others work hard for their next position at work, let see people spending all their time studying again upgrading themselves for better life, People get lazy in the work place but get upset when other people gets promoted, than they screw you over for their comfort and laziness.

I remember so many time being told to stop dating the losers I called boyfriend, and I would be matched up with some men, so I can get married too like everyone else. I remember hearing talks that I have some nasty sexual transmitted illness( just to put it more lightly). because I sleep around. Let’s take a look again in the mirror who is there….. not me. Because some of us are happy to be where we are and associate ourselves with good people.

People hurt themselves every time because of bad choices they made in life or put themselves in, even if they see that they shouldn’t put themselves in that position, than they end up hurting and hating other people. Look in the mirror that’s not people there, you saw people choosing to be where they are and you didn’t follow, now why hating on other people because you want them to be as miserable as you are . Going around telling lies so to feed your happiness. The wrong things that you tell people about other people , you actually telling them about you, the person in the mirror.

When people are being offered help, they would denial having a problem because to them it’s normal to be in that situation. than think everyone and everything is what they are. choose happiness ,if you look in the mirror and see that’s you there. Can than stop hurting or think people are what we are.

stepping out of line

I once wrote an an article of say STEP OUT OF LINE where I was actually saying women should step out of toxic, abusive relationship. I was saying this because I just didn’t understand how could anyone stay with somebody who make her feel like she’s worthless, who is constantly disgusted with her existence, treats her like trash, like he’s your God, bring all illnesses in the relationship, leads you to police station to open a case for abuse but than withdraws charges the next day, it just a lot, I can go on and on ,

But today perhaps I just need to back up a little and think about what exactly could mean to these women to step out of line, doesn’t it mean get killed, Remember as much as this man dislike you but he enjoys to be in control so you can not just live, his your god you will live when he say so, if you insist than you might get killed. I am asking myself every time this women talks about how abusive their men are, very horrible stories but they wouldn’t live .

Its so sad when this woman is in this bad situation(deadly) but no one can come to your rescue even if they want. This man can do whatever he wants with or to you and no one can help, how can they? look how many women today are being murdered by their boyfriend/husband right under our nose, unfortunately we not around when it happen and there is no sign that it might happen today to this person.

HOW CAN WE KNOW THAT THE HELP IS NEEDED HERE? yes sometimes these women talks about it they will sometimes tell a friend, a mother or sometimes people will know what’s happening in that house but if you try to interfere it will be like you busy with other people’s business, why don’t you mind your own, or all relationships have their own upside down, this too will get better, but unfortunately it never get better.

Now the question is what can really be done to stop killing of women, the amount of violence in so many ways, this what I hear when I asked around what drive a man to do such horrible thing such evil? some men don’t even what to entertain your question, they will like brush it off or those who respond would say ” no man will let his woman just end the relationship like that, he’s not going to allow her to just live unless if he feels it’s on his term” one will say ” women like to nag like where have he’s been? such question will upset certain people, he’s the man no woman can ask him that”

Well normally women are killed for no apparent reason. again no reason should lead one to kill the other. Can we also stop saying she gets the bitten because:

how she dresses

and “she thinks too much of herself,

“she’s not on the same level as him”,

“because she doesn’t respect her husband”,

” what must he do with woman like that when his type are everywhere”

How can this society stop this horrible killings and violence against women when we society sometimes are not doing enough to stop this , yes perhaps we don’t eve know how to help men see women as humans, not even police or protest can stop this. Unfortunately when these men are caught, they still want a lawyer to fight his case like what he did was not wrong, one will wonder what is going on in that persons mind. like you killed someone and to you its fine. And how can a lawyer defend someone who has done such horror in the community.

We need help!!! yes we need help, somebody please help, It’s a big cry. what has to be done to stop this, those who have faith in prayer, please lets pray together.

Whose responsibility is it?

Even today with all the options, the platforms that gives all information we need to know about certain situations we put ourselves in to, the rate of unwanted pregnancies still so high, whether by teenagers or grown people.

Now here we are wanting to have sex by using word love( whether we in love or just wanna have sex), regardless, in most cases none of us will be thinking about taking precautions, if one do, the other dismiss it and the other partner will just have to give in, why waste time (boy/girl, you killing my vibe right now) no one is thinking what worse that could happen.

But whose responsibility is this? who is suppose to make sure that we(man/woman) precautions are taken. I say it’s both of you, especially a woman, first both of you should asked if one( woman) is on birth control or do we have condoms or let’s stop because there is no condoms, if you don’t want to get pregnant or get someone pregnant or be infected with some nasty illnesses, married or not, unless if you planning to get pregnant.

Now did I say especially a woman, yes I did. Women should make sure precautions are taken,(self care) that is because after the child is born mostly it will be the woman who is left with the responsibility to take care of the child. Man always asked how did it happened, because he thought the woman was on birth control forgetting that he too didn’t use condom to prevent this from happening, he didn’t even give you money to run to the pharmacy to buy that morning after pill ( but for your own sake mama just do it yourself). Now innocent soul has to suffer because of us not taking responsibility. therefore it is our both of us responsibility to make sure we take precautions

Why am I still writing about this I mean, it has been talked about it previously on all television talk shows/ magazines/newspaper, with our friends, on the streets, our parents even at our churches. It’s because still today there is still people who got surprised when they find out that they get pregnant or that she is pregnant, like how did it happened,forgetting it happened exactly the same way I explained on the 2nd paragraph.

Well, regardless how did that child was brought in this world, they still precious gift from God and the responsibility continues as we groom them and prepare them for the world as we protect and we build their future.

No religion can stop anyone from what they want to be.

Nothing and no one can tell people what to do if they don’t want to, people have different beliefs, they believe and they worship God, ancestors, gods, and all other energies that we believe controls the universe.

As people, we wanna belong, and where ever we are we think it will work for us, we always ask for guidance from leaders of our religion, because we believe we can get helped if we ask and if we believe, and yes we will be answered, our prayers are answered, look where we are all successful and have the respect and power we always wanted, and those who are not there yet, they believe and hope that they too will be answered tomorrow.

So as our ancestors, those energies, universe, gods, God and all others, we know while follow these different religions there just so many things that we are told to do and not to do, and we actually won’t have problem listening to all those guidance and follow the rules from what we call the great or the unknown , but if this religions tell us to be or to do what we don’t want to do no, we won’t do we don’t care of the circumstance, if a certain religions restricts it’s people from doing certain things and if they don’t want they won’t. will just see what’s gonna happen later.

Lets just say if you are told not to wear make up being a member of this religion, you will because that’s what you want but if you don’t than they cant stop you, they won’t stop you from wearing clothing or attired being their member, won’t stop you to behave a certain way being their member, they won’t stop you to be an abusive person, they won’t stop you to have tattoos because you want to, you wanna date that married man they won’t stop you, you wanna be dirty mean person to others they won’t stop you, it doesn’t matter of the circumstances, you just won’t.

Be a sex worker, they won’t stop you you have an explanation for that, no religion will tell you how to treat your wife or husband, why shouldn’t you eat certain food, if you want to ,they cant stop you, have sex with the person of same gender why are you being stop.

Yes people are the members of these religions, and yes they are fully believers and of their religions but they just can’t be stop from being who and what they want to be even though that is forbidden in the particular religion, why restrictions, people just don’t understand.

I need to tell, I have to tell. I must tell(knowledge is power)

We always told that knowledge is power,but the knowledge that we want is different. Knowing about somebody’s business give us power. People feel like they have some power over you, they will do anything to get some information about you, so they can feel some power over you. When people know something about your business especially if it’s something that is not to be seen or heard by wrong people, its like they strike gold

Here you are having real problem or being in some bad situation you don’t know how to deal with it, than, to ease your pain or needing some advise you tell the person you trust about it, just after your conversation with this person, he/she will have something that says. ‘I need to tell’ and yes she/he ‘ll be telling your business to everyone, not knowing that she/he creating more problems for you or just doing that with a purpose to destroy or humiliate you .

If we can only be good friends to our friends and keep things to ourselves, anyway it’s my business and only I, can tell it like it is.

Associating with right people

At first it will be your sibling who will be your friends, your right people. But than as you grow you go to school you meet other kids or the kids from your neighborhood that you might like or they like you, because you will have something in common. You will get more closer with your friend(s) talk about everything, doing everything together. And you learn that a friend should be someone to hold each other down, someone to keep secrets for each other, be there for each other no matter what.

With me, I never thought I needed a friend like that, I just love people and some will love me back, and at school I had so many friends but had 3 good friends in my entire school years even though they didn’t know they were my best friends because they were from different background, that’s the reason why we never hang out together the 3 of us till today they never knew this other one or that one was friends with me. Because I normally accommodates just any good person regardless of your background. I had different friends different period in my life, my thing is I am a person who just can’t keep up with friends, I mean the visits, the hang outs, sleeping overs I never really had time for that or tell all my business, not because I was secretive or had anything to hide but that was just it my business.

Today, I know why. People just can’t be trusted with anything, I once refuse to be this friends with this lady dirty with me and when I didn’t show any sign of financial, men, illnesses or family problem she got really upset but I’ve always given good advise to her, I’ve told her that just because I don’t talk about problems and that doesn’t mean I don’t have problems, Instead I deal with them, I live in this world where every thing that happens are being talked about in the books, magazine, TV shows and all other social media platforms where people will talk about anything that we need to know or how to face up with certain issues those are the people I associate with in my life, people who knows And when I rejected her she didn’t take it nicely she went straight to social media and bad mouth me all her posts were directed to me. I didn’t care because I done nothing wrong,

It didn’t end there I had another lady I like her as a friend but don’t want to be too close, I used to fight for her, be there for her. I was that friend you can trust and she was a good person( so I thought) years later I found out she has been messy from the beginning, she was apparently the sniper from the side and will keep her hands clean, than she change I felt it, she became very wild. I didn’t care my job was obviously done she distance herself from me and hook up with some people( found a new host), I was fine with it, anyway she wasn’t my kinda person, my beliefs, my way of thinking, how I socialize, how I dedicated myself in my work, that’s why even today she can’t explain why I am where I am in life, our friendship to me was pure, I just like her, I will protect her every time she misbehave as she will normally embarrassed herself in many ways .

Some people are very ignorant, I did everything in front of her, she looked away. when I was studying attending my classes every Saturdays and because my class was from 8am-16pm will come back home very tired I still have to do other things and she will call asking where I am and I say home , than she started telling people that I’m forever home, never out. like a person who doesn’t do fun. she doesn’t even know I graduated last year. While she was busy being nasty behind my back. I was studying.

People will asked themselves why I was even friends with her, but because I thought they jealous of our friendship because we will have so much fun when we out with other people, until she said something about someone I confronted that person when she was just explaining herself I told to stop because I realized I’ve been used here, that’s where everybody asked that they were wondering why are we friends she had say so much dirt about me, I was really broken at first but as a big girl i dust myself and walk way, fortunately she only knew things about me I wanted her to know ,I’m a person who has boundaries, to open up to you will have to be right person. I will know if you are a right person to be my friend, if you don’t or can’be my friend it’s still fine with me .

Thanks God because I don’t hate , and I know good friendship has to be with right people , people who will be easy to tell all your business to and keep things to themselves, people that will take you where you are and put you somewhere, I always say associate yourself with right crowd people who knows, get inspired and be inspired , give advise free because you got it free. to top it all pray about everything and don’t loose hope. Somebody said if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck…….

Getting high and rich

How nice it is to want and to have right there, you hungry you get food, you want clothing you go to you closet and choose anything you want to wear, you want to sleep you go straight to bed, almost anything you want you are able to get. How about when you want all of the above and you struggling to even get one pair of jeans and the reason could be because you’ve been looking for a job forever now but no luck or you have a job but doesn’t give you enough to cater for the lifestyle that you want or you just won’t do a 9-5 to 31 days before you get money you can’t wait that long. With all being said there’s only one choice, easy money, lots of money that you can do everything you always wanted, at once.

starting a business might also take long to make a profit you want, now what else that sells fast and people need, drugs. People have lots of problems, frustration, stress and all other things happening in each person’s life that they want to forget at least for a while.

Now that’s where you come in, to help such individuals relieve them from their misery. They barely coping, they got money sell them what they need and make money for all the luxury you’ve been dreaming of(while theirs are being crushed). You actually helping each other, so it seems . Unfortunately this is a one way street only one side is being helped here, the seller, the buyer gets f***ed up, the life of a buyer get ruined just like that, it’s over. For the seller the show goes on , they are still people who wants to get high and the seller gets more richer, How about that?

Why on earth does anyone wants to put their money on something than receive nothing in the end, I thought when you put money into something you get little bit more in return, like an investment unless of course if it’s a charity. It doesn’t make sense